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08 April 2011 @ 04:54 pm
▲ la douleur exquise  
A/N: open ended. LIKE A BOSS.

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The music coming from Jonghyun's earphones was impossible to hear with the talking of his classmates. He snatches them off his head, hanging them around his neck, and sighs.

"It's called a 'free period' not a 'talk your ass off convention'." Jonghyun says, turning to face Kibum.

Kibum just shrugs and goes back to reading his book. How he was even able to read amongst the noise, was beyond Jonghyun.

"Hey, Kibum, what're you reading?" Jonghyun asks, grabbing his book.

"Hey!" Kibum complains.

"Don't worry, I saved the page." Jonghyun mumbles, turning the book over to read the title. "La douleur exquise?" Jonghyun says, butchering the french words. Kibum just laughs and snatches his book back.

"It's la douleur exquise." Kibum says, correcting him, and goes back to reading.

"Well, what's it about?" Jonghyun asks.

"It's about this French soldier who can't be with the woman he loves." Kibum says, hesitantly.

"Why not?" Jonghyun asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, she already has a husband. Oh, and she doesn't love him in return because he's terribly disfigured from the war." Kibum says.

"You know, that's really fucking depressing, I don't see how you can read that." Jonghyun shakes his head.

"Well, I guess I can relate to it..." Kibum says quietly.

Jonghyun just looks at him with sorrowful eyes.

-

"You know you don't have to sit with me." Kibum says, looking at Jonghyun. "You should be sitting with the popular kids, you know, where you belong."

"If I wanted to sit with them, don't you think I would? Chill out." Jonghyun says, biting into his lunch.

"I'm sure they must think stuff by now..." He replies.

Jonghyun sighs and grabs Kibum's face, "I don't care what they think, you're more important."

Kibum blushes and pushes Jonghyun's hands away.

He hated how nice Jonghyun was, which brought along the inevitable love he felt towards him. But Jonghyun isn't gay, he would remind himself everyday.

"You gonna eat that?" Jonghyun asks, giving his best puppy face.

Kibum just laughs and shoves the rest of his food towards Jonghyun.

-

you can't go on like this forever.

Kibum draws a shooting star on the side of his paper, he was bored out of his mind. Jonghyun wasn't there, and he's the only one Kibum could talk to in this class.

"Hey, are you and Jjong dating?" His classmate Onew asks, turning around in his seat. "Everyone's wondering, and we just want to know."

"No." Kibum replies involuntarily. He had gotten this question several times before, so had Jonghyun. He would always tell Kibum about people asking him and he would just laugh, "Can't people be friends anymore?"

-

obviously not.

Kibum was in a very delicate situation, and the way he saw it, he only had 2 options.

1 - stop being friends with jonghyun. how could you just be 'friends' with someone you loved?

or

2 - confess to jonghyun and hope for the best.

He decided that if he went through with option #2, then #1 would have to follow along, most likely.

Jonghyun had returned to school, telling Kibum about how sick he had been and asking if they had any homework.

"Miss me?" Jonghyun asks, smiling brightly.

Kibum laughs and nods, "Definitely, wanna come over later?"

"Sure." Jonghyun replies.

After school, when Jonghyun arrives, they both settle on the couch to do their homework.

"It's such a pretty day." Kibum says.

"Yeah, it is." Jonghyun replies, glancing out the window.

"Jjong, can I tell you something truthfully?" Kibum asks, pulling his knees to his chest.

"I doubt you need my permission." Jonghyun laughs.

"Okay..." Kibum says quietly and Jonghyun playfully hits him on the shoulder, "Just say it."

"Well, I think I love you." Kibum says after a brief silence.

Jonghyun glances over and laughs, "Well, of course, we're best friends."

"You know what I mean, so just leave if you can't accept it." Kibum says, eyes to the ground.

Jonghyun widens his eyes and stands, "You're serious?"

By the look on Kibum's face, he could tell he meant it, but he didn't stay long enough for a clarification.

-

Kibum drags his feet into class the next day and walks over to his teacher. "Do you think I could sit in the front from now on? I've been having such a terrible time seeing." She nods and points to an empty desk.

He sits down and reads his book, ignoring the stares from his classmates, and Jonghyun as he walks in.

Of course, as Kibum had guessed, Jonghyun stopped talking to him.

He even started hanging out with the popular kids, as Kibum had suggested before. He started cracking jokes with them, aimed towards Kibum.

-

weeks later.

Kibum finally finishes his book. At the end, the French soldier commits suicide, and its looking more and more like the thing he should do.

But he needed closure first.

"Hey, can we talk?" Kibum asks Jonghyun at lunch, ignoring the whispers from his friends.

Jonghyun looks surprised and nods, following Kibum to an excluded area in the courtyard.

"What do you want? You haven't talked to me in a while." Jonghyun says, crossing his arms.

"Would you have even responded if I would have?" Kibum asks.

Jonghyun bites his lip, "Seriously, what do you want?"

Kibum sighs, fed up with everything he's had to deal with since his confession, "I just want to know, do you hate me now? Like, just tell me how you feel."

"I don't feel anything, I'm pretty content actually." Jonghyun replies, not making eye contact with Kibum.

"Is it really so easy for you to forget all the time we've spent together?" Kibum asks, clenching his fists.

Jonghyun sighs, "Of course not, there are times when I do miss you."

"Then why can't we just go back to the way we were before?" Kibum asks, reaching for Jonghyun's hand.

Jonghyun flinches away and Kibum just looks down in pain.

"There's no way, I have a girlfriend now, I can't be playing your games." Jonghyun says.

"This isn't a game!" Kibum shouts, earning glances from people eating. Tears are brimming his eyelids.

"Well, whatever it is, don't involve me." Jonghyun whispers, giving Kibum a cold stare. "Can I go back to my lunch now?"

Kibum smiles bitterly, "You can do whatever you want."

Jonghyun stands there and stares at Kibum before he shakes his head and walks away.

-

Kibum slides the book over to the librarian.

"Did you enjoy it?" She asks cheerily.

"It's one of my favorites." He replies.

"It's one of our best fiction novels." She says.

"I think you should put it under autobiography."
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Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Wherever You Are - ワンオクロック
 
 
 
yokomyayokomya on April 9th, 2011 02:34 am (UTC)
私は好きだ!本当にすごいです!^___________^ ♥
taeminrapetaeminrape on April 9th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
ありがとうございます。♥ ヽ(´▽`)/
愛してる *creeper face*